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Friday, June 08, 2007

The Chief Constable's Operation ChesterRoadSpeeders

I remember when I was about 8, the village bobby was boss. To be put in his black book was a grave offence indeed. In fact my wife Lisa is very uneasy about talking to the Police even though she is not wanted for anything that I know of.
Here I am 45 years later about to take Richard Brunstrom to task.
Operation Debar 2 is under way. There are the Police say atleast 8,000 vehicles driving around North Wales at the moment without a license, insurance or tax. Not sure how they work that one out. Statistics, probability, bell curves?
Your chance to sort out that son of a bitch you dont like. The number 0845 607 1002.

Richard, we have 2000 speeding motorists through Chester Rd, Penyffordd each day. I hate the noise.

So here's how we do Operation ChesterRoadSpeeders.

Its an early start 5.30 am Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday when the kids are in school later on in the day. To make it an efficient operation incoming traffic to Chester Rd from the Broughton direction needs to be diverted to using the By-pass. Otherwise they warn all the speeding traffic that the Police or Arrive Alive are about as what happened last Arrive Alive visit.
Tripod with radar equipment set up on grass verge on Terrace Lane junction without fluourescents, the black SAS garb will be fine. This is where they will be reaching speeds of 40 - 60 mph whilst still in the 30 mph zone coming out of the village towards Broughton. The main team are just over the hill towards Broughton just like in The French Connection where the baddies with the money and cocaine come over the top of the bridge to meet the police road block with Popeye.

The team at the top of the hill are there to hand out the paperwork for speeding. They will of course be ok to wear fluorescents as in line with Police safety procedures. If you dont want the felons to be too late for for work we will need about 10 officers. I and my fragrant wife Lisa will avail the officers with tea ,coffee and biscuits. The busiest time will be between 7.15 to 9.15 am.
Not sure of the current rates but 400 speeders times £60 equals £24,000 for about 5 hours work and Penyffordd gets a reputation for not doing speed. Other busy times are 12.00 - 14.00 hrs which is shift change over then 16.00hrs - 18.30. There are however atleast one speeder nearly every minute of the day.

This operation will give you big headlines and perhaps start to stem the daily environmental insult to villages across North Wales and renew your title as The Traffic Taliban especially in Chester Road, Penyffordd where it is much deminished at the moment.

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